Between Dreams and Reality

Feb 15
boggletheowl:

1) Don’t try to give them advice. I know this is coming from an owl who gives depressed people advice! But I only do that for people who have asked for it. Unless they specifically say to you, “What do you think about all this?” or “What do you think I should do?” then advice is not really what they’re looking for, and you don’t need to feel like you have to come up with any.2) Don’t try to guess what they’re feeling, or why they feel that way. The best case scenario is that you are right, but they didn’t figure it out for themselves, so it probably won’t sink in! The worst case scenario is that you are wrong, and you have inadvertently shut them out of the conversation. Either way, you haven’t really helped. Of course, if they ask for your insight, that’s a different story!3) Ask questions! And then be quiet until they are done talking. Give them just a little bit longer to go on than you would in an ordinary conversation. There is a good chance that they have things they need to say, but are reluctant to talk about. Maybe you feel awkward during silences, but they need those silences to work up the courage to keep talking.4) Maybe you know something about their condition. Maybe you even share it! But you are not talking about their condition (unless for some reason you are); you are talking about their feelings, and their experiences. Empathy is very powerful, but don’t let the conversation become about you or what you know.5) They might try to deflect the conversation by bringing your feelings into it: “Sorry for bringing you down,” “I don’t want to make you worry, I’m fine,” “This must be really boring, let’s talk about something else,” that sort of thing. They are probably not doing that because they really want to change the subject, but because opening up is hard, and maybe they feel like they don’t deserve to. Gently reassure them that you are fine, their problems are not boring, and that you want to help and you are still listening. If you do that, and they still try to deflect, you can just ask them, “Do you really want to change the subject? It’s okay, we don’t have to keep talking about this if you don’t want to.” But make sure it’s clear that that choice is about their feelings, not yours.6) Things that are obvious to you are not obvious to them. You know that they are fun to be around! You know that it’s okay for them to make mistakes! You know that having a bad day doesn’t make them a bad person! But they don’t know that. These are good things to point out.7) You are going to have to repeat yourself a lot. This is because their thoughts are repeating themselves a lot! Depression is at least partly fueled by self-destructive thought patterns, which means they are falling into the same thought-traps over and over again. Please try not to get frustrated. They are not doing it on purpose.8) It is important to establish boundaries. Being around depressed people can be very draining. And if you make yourself constantly available to them, there is a good chance that they will start to rely on your support in an unhealthy way! That is not good for you, them, or your relationship. It is okay to say, “I love you! I wish you weren’t feeling this way! But I can’t really deal with this right now. Please do something nice for yourself, okay? I will talk to you tomorrow!” They might be a little hurt to be turned away at first, but ultimately it is for the best.9) Understand that you do not have the power to break them out of their destructive thought patterns. Only they can do that. They will have a hard time internalizing what you say, and they probably won’t take your advice (assuming you even gave them any). And that’s okay. You are just trying to support them! They can do anything they want with that support.10) Please don’t be disheartened by what looks to you like a lack of progress. I know it can be hard not to feel like you aren’t making any difference. But your kindness and patience are so powerful. People struggling with depression know how hard they sometimes are to be around. The fact that you are trying at all means more than you think.
—-
I just want to say that I am not any kind of therapist; I am just a girl on the internet who draws owls. But I get a lot of questions from people who want to take better care of their depressed friends and family, but don’t know how! So I hope this has been useful to some of you out there!

Because i’m sure it could be useful to people out of here. I deal with depression myself though I feel a bit better those days and sometimes I feel that people dunno how to deal with me and somehow I can’t blame them and it’s not easy.
I really love Boggle’s tumblr. The person behind it suffer from depression yet take the time to provide a lot of nice advise and encouraging message. 
Sometimes it really brighten my days to read it so I though that if it can do the same to someone out of here that don’t know Boggle and will do now it’s nice :)

boggletheowl:

1) Don’t try to give them advice. I know this is coming from an owl who gives depressed people advice! But I only do that for people who have asked for it. Unless they specifically say to you, “What do you think about all this?” or “What do you think I should do?” then advice is not really what they’re looking for, and you don’t need to feel like you have to come up with any.

2) Don’t try to guess what they’re feeling, or why they feel that way. The best case scenario is that you are right, but they didn’t figure it out for themselves, so it probably won’t sink in! The worst case scenario is that you are wrong, and you have inadvertently shut them out of the conversation. Either way, you haven’t really helped. Of course, if they ask for your insight, that’s a different story!

3) Ask questions! And then be quiet until they are done talking. Give them just a little bit longer to go on than you would in an ordinary conversation. There is a good chance that they have things they need to say, but are reluctant to talk about. Maybe you feel awkward during silences, but they need those silences to work up the courage to keep talking.

4) Maybe you know something about their condition. Maybe you even share it! But you are not talking about their condition (unless for some reason you are); you are talking about their feelings, and their experiences. Empathy is very powerful, but don’t let the conversation become about you or what you know.

5) They might try to deflect the conversation by bringing your feelings into it: “Sorry for bringing you down,” “I don’t want to make you worry, I’m fine,” “This must be really boring, let’s talk about something else,” that sort of thing. They are probably not doing that because they really want to change the subject, but because opening up is hard, and maybe they feel like they don’t deserve to. Gently reassure them that you are fine, their problems are not boring, and that you want to help and you are still listening. If you do that, and they still try to deflect, you can just ask them, “Do you really want to change the subject? It’s okay, we don’t have to keep talking about this if you don’t want to.” But make sure it’s clear that that choice is about their feelings, not yours.

6) Things that are obvious to you are not obvious to them. You know that they are fun to be around! You know that it’s okay for them to make mistakes! You know that having a bad day doesn’t make them a bad person! But they don’t know that. These are good things to point out.

7) You are going to have to repeat yourself a lot. This is because their thoughts are repeating themselves a lot! Depression is at least partly fueled by self-destructive thought patterns, which means they are falling into the same thought-traps over and over again. Please try not to get frustrated. They are not doing it on purpose.

8) It is important to establish boundaries. Being around depressed people can be very draining. And if you make yourself constantly available to them, there is a good chance that they will start to rely on your support in an unhealthy way! That is not good for you, them, or your relationship. It is okay to say, “I love you! I wish you weren’t feeling this way! But I can’t really deal with this right now. Please do something nice for yourself, okay? I will talk to you tomorrow!” They might be a little hurt to be turned away at first, but ultimately it is for the best.

9) Understand that you do not have the power to break them out of their destructive thought patterns. Only they can do that. They will have a hard time internalizing what you say, and they probably won’t take your advice (assuming you even gave them any). And that’s okay. You are just trying to support them! They can do anything they want with that support.

10) Please don’t be disheartened by what looks to you like a lack of progress. I know it can be hard not to feel like you aren’t making any difference. But your kindness and patience are so powerful. People struggling with depression know how hard they sometimes are to be around. The fact that you are trying at all means more than you think.

—-

I just want to say that I am not any kind of therapist; I am just a girl on the internet who draws owls. But I get a lot of questions from people who want to take better care of their depressed friends and family, but don’t know how! So I hope this has been useful to some of you out there!

Because i’m sure it could be useful to people out of here. I deal with depression myself though I feel a bit better those days and sometimes I feel that people dunno how to deal with me and somehow I can’t blame them and it’s not easy.

I really love Boggle’s tumblr. The person behind it suffer from depression yet take the time to provide a lot of nice advise and encouraging message.

Sometimes it really brighten my days to read it so I though that if it can do the same to someone out of here that don’t know Boggle and will do now it’s nice :)

May 15
mlpartconfessions:

I am a very uncool thing - I am a parent and an older geek who is into My Little Pony as well as God knows how many other things.  I know I’m not particularly interesting, simply because I am a mother and an older person (at least twice the age of some pony fans!), and that puts a big seperation between me and a lot of geek and IT fandoms.  I have responsibilities I can’t put down.
I had a baby late last year.  Things went wrong, I nearly died, and then everyone treated me as though I should be happy no matter how badly I was damaged, despite the multiple blood transfusions I needed.  I was terribly depressed and developed PTSD which people initially thought was postnatal depression.  I had a lovely daughter, but I was in so much pain, and so exhausted and broken.  Recovery from the emergency surgery took a very, very long time - months and months.  I had flashbacks and panic attacks, and was in terrible pain - I could not lift my baby up because I was too weak.
It took me three weeks to be able to walk to my letter box, very slowly, one foot in front of the other, shaking the whole time.  I felt ruined.  I felt boring.  People treated me suddenly like I was no longer a person - I was ‘just’ a mother, not interesting anymore.  I felt like a failure, and I couldn’t watch the Baby Cakes episode because everything about childbirth and new babies upset me.  When it came on, I started crying.
Then, one day, I saw this piece by tinuleaf (http://tinuleaf.deviantart.com/) and I felt better.  Just because of something small - that it was drawn set at night.  And that it had Rainbow Dash in it, who is very cool, after all.  And I saw other pony art which also had mothers in a more positive light, with other sides to them.  They were not just things that only existed to die in a storyline so the hero would be sympathised with.  And it helped a bit during a really, really bad time.  I was able to go back and watch the Baby Cakes episode after that.
- Submitted by ask-happygolucky
MLPAC note: A semi art confession but this was too sweet to reject. <3

After I read this, I stayed a long time behind my screen speechless and I still am. I’m not sure that my words right now can really conveice how I feel right now so I’ll keep it simple.
I’m really blow up by the fact that my work had this little effect on someone life and really… this is amazing. Even though I didn’t do that much in the end because in fact, no matter what, it’s the person courage and will in the end that is responsible but I’m still glad that my work could be a “trigger” (I don’t really know how to say this better).
And reading this really fill me up with so much feelings at the same time but the highest of all this is the motivation it gave me back.
I…ok I think I’ll stop here because I’m already saying a lot of nonsense.
But really ;___;

mlpartconfessions:

I am a very uncool thing - I am a parent and an older geek who is into My Little Pony as well as God knows how many other things.  I know I’m not particularly interesting, simply because I am a mother and an older person (at least twice the age of some pony fans!), and that puts a big seperation between me and a lot of geek and IT fandoms.  I have responsibilities I can’t put down.

I had a baby late last year.  Things went wrong, I nearly died, and then everyone treated me as though I should be happy no matter how badly I was damaged, despite the multiple blood transfusions I needed.  I was terribly depressed and developed PTSD which people initially thought was postnatal depression.  I had a lovely daughter, but I was in so much pain, and so exhausted and broken.  Recovery from the emergency surgery took a very, very long time - months and months.  I had flashbacks and panic attacks, and was in terrible pain - I could not lift my baby up because I was too weak.

It took me three weeks to be able to walk to my letter box, very slowly, one foot in front of the other, shaking the whole time.  I felt ruined.  I felt boring.  People treated me suddenly like I was no longer a person - I was ‘just’ a mother, not interesting anymore.  I felt like a failure, and I couldn’t watch the Baby Cakes episode because everything about childbirth and new babies upset me.  When it came on, I started crying.

Then, one day, I saw this piece by tinuleaf (http://tinuleaf.deviantart.com/) and I felt better.  Just because of something small - that it was drawn set at night.  And that it had Rainbow Dash in it, who is very cool, after all.  And I saw other pony art which also had mothers in a more positive light, with other sides to them.  They were not just things that only existed to die in a storyline so the hero would be sympathised with.  And it helped a bit during a really, really bad time.  I was able to go back and watch the Baby Cakes episode after that.

- Submitted by ask-happygolucky

MLPAC note: A semi art confession but this was too sweet to reject. <3

After I read this, I stayed a long time behind my screen speechless and I still am. I’m not sure that my words right now can really conveice how I feel right now so I’ll keep it simple.

I’m really blow up by the fact that my work had this little effect on someone life and really… this is amazing. Even though I didn’t do that much in the end because in fact, no matter what, it’s the person courage and will in the end that is responsible but I’m still glad that my work could be a “trigger” (I don’t really know how to say this better).

And reading this really fill me up with so much feelings at the same time but the highest of all this is the motivation it gave me back.

I…ok I think I’ll stop here because I’m already saying a lot of nonsense.

But really ;___;

(via mmmnhh)

May 3
ask-forest-feather:

katisconfused:

20$ Commission for Forest Feather!
Forest Feather runs a spa specializing in Segasus wing grooming. Something Dusty could probably use a lot of…  I had artistic liberty so idk slap my pony in there too lol.

A wonderful commission from the mod of Ask Dust Cloud that started the Dusty visit!

Looks wonderful. I especially love the work on the expression here.Forest Feather one is quite hilarious XD

ask-forest-feather:

katisconfused:

20$ Commission for Forest Feather!

Forest Feather runs a spa specializing in Segasus wing grooming. Something Dusty could probably use a lot of…  I had artistic liberty so idk slap my pony in there too lol.

A wonderful commission from the mod of Ask Dust Cloud that started the Dusty visit!

Looks wonderful. I especially love the work on the expression here.
Forest Feather one is quite hilarious XD

May 2

applesinthegrass:

Happy B-Day John… *runs away and hides*

((Hahaha! Poor D! She’s so afraid to go out in the street with all that problem of the “baby”. Hope all this thing solves for the good.))

OMG I missed on so much entries !!!

D: I missed on John’s birthday (does it count even if I wish it now even if it’s very very very late *3* ? )

John face in the second last panel !
My heart nghh !

(via applesinthegrass-deactivated201)

May 2
doodleloser:

cafedelights:


I DID NOT DRAW THIS
I only colored it for fun. &lt;3

Artist: The art belongs to Tinuleaf! She made this as a gift for our friend Toastie, which happens to also consist of my pony too! ;u; It’s such a pretty little picture! I’m glad I got permission to slap on some colors in my down time!
Nea and Moni = &lt;3

Wheeee practiced my coloring skills from my lap. Looks pretty good! :D

OMG&#160;!!! This look wonderful&#160;! *squee*This look even more romantic with colors *giggle*
My only regret is to no have scanned the drawing to give you something more clean to work on yet you managed to do something wonderful on it.
Also this is the first time that someone color one of my pony work ;__;
Thank you so much for coloring my work *happy*

doodleloser:

cafedelights:

I DID NOT DRAW THIS

I only colored it for fun. <3

Artist: The art belongs to Tinuleaf! She made this as a gift for our friend Toastie, which happens to also consist of my pony too! ;u; It’s such a pretty little picture! I’m glad I got permission to slap on some colors in my down time!

Nea and Moni = <3

Wheeee practiced my coloring skills from my lap. Looks pretty good! :D

OMG !!! This look wonderful ! *squee*
This look even more romantic with colors *giggle*

My only regret is to no have scanned the drawing to give you something more clean to work on yet you managed to do something wonderful on it.

Also this is the first time that someone color one of my pony work ;__;

Thank you so much for coloring my work *happy*

(Source: , via doodleloser-deactivated20130821)

Apr 26

mcgroodz:

something I made for the Hooj for our one year anniversary in feb idk

I was passing from Tumblr to Tumblr and I found this and I though it was freaking adorable ! It just make my heart melt ;__;

Aww such loving…love XD

(Source: dandypoots)

Apr 24

staroreos:

I want to open commission so badly.

But I am too nervous, and afraid.

and I don’t have any paypal. or any of those things


Aww why are you so nervous and afraid ?

Is it because you never did commissions before ? Is it because you are afraid to no being able to handle them ? The price ? All the above or more ?

Well, I’ll just say in anycase, sometimes you just need to try even if you’re not too sure. Sometimes you can be surprised by the outcome…

You’re a very talented artist and even if you seem to doubt it (judging from some comments in your work and such), you still are and I definitively can tell that I’m not the only one to think that and I’m sure that a lot of people will be more than happy to commission you (and you can count me as a customer too hehehe ).

As for paypal, if you ever need it, just send me a note, I will be glad to help you. Seriously, it’s not very complicated ^^

In anycase, of course, the decision is all yours but I can only cheer for you and to go past those fears of you… even if it’s not easy.

Damn, sorry if it’s a bit confusing, it’s hard in english XD

(Source: mnh27)

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